Friday, January 29, 2010

The Beautiful Sad

My range of emotion the past two weeks runs from elated to complete panic attack to streams of silent tears escaping unexpectedly. The tight feeling in the back of your throat, the slight welling in your eyes, biting your lip to stop it from happening. Stopping the sadness of it all, or my fears, from taking over. Realizing that this place, you people will never be out of my life. Change is not a bad thing (read my HPC rant for more on that). I am taking a sabbatical from life in Minnesota. That scares me. It makes me sad. I realize (with difficulty) that I'm going to miss out on things. Jokes, stories, moments that cannot be recaptured or explained.











































BUT>>>

I am also going to experience a whole new world (because Texas is like another planet) of jokes, stories, and moments. I will make new friends...who can never replace the old...but who will take a place next to the old. I will not have to wait for moments, whisps of time to spend with James, who I really believe is the absolute love of my life. I will grow and learn and change. I will call you all. Sometimes I might laugh, sometimes I might cry...be prepared for that. I will be sorely disappointed if you do not visit. Even for a weekend. Austin is a really beautiful and amazing city, and I'm adopting it, and I hope that it adopts me, and I'd like you to see it.


I love you.

6 comments:

Unknown said...

I love you Ashley, I'm really bummed that I spent six years away to come back and have you leave. That being said, I have nothing to do for awhile, so if it makes it easier to have someone help you get ready and pack or what not, let me know.

Extreme Ash said...

I love you too Kris. Our timing could have been better, that's for sure. Can't wait for dinner tonight, and you'll get a call for help from me next week. Thank you.

Cody Girl said...

This is an amazing post. I miss you so much girl. Good luck== you will have a blast. And I defiantly know what you are going through. This was beautiful.
<33

kyndra michelle said...

i feel you too. it's bittersweet. you are totally doing this the right way, i'm really proud of you and i'm really happy for you. really. i wish you the best and expect to see my face around your neck of the woods. ;) p.s. i hope you know i am also available to help if you need me, although it will be a bittersweet help and i hope thats okay! love youuuuuu

Unknown said...

So happy and proud to call you one of my good friends! These past two years away from MPLS have felt exactly as you predicted in this post. all the emotions you'll be feeling after you left, were spot on for me. But I can also say even though that feeling of "missing out" will always be there-the feeling I know you're about to experience (being with the love of your life...finally!) is beyond. Trust me. You deserve all the happiness in the world, and if Austin or any of it's inhabitants do not treat you like the amazing person you are, there's a girl from Coon Town who will fuck some shit/people up.
Love you, such great photos in this post, and know that if you're able to find such endearing people so easily-that speaks highly of you, not any luck or location....it's you Ash, I truly believe that. I am not worried about you for a second.
Happy Healthy and good luck love!
<3

Joyce Taylor said...

Minnesota' loss is our families gain , Austin's too ......we will take great care of your friend , daughter , Granddaughter , cousin , sister ect ect ......

She is an amazing women , obviously much loved by all who know her ..... how could Austin not take her in as one of its own ......

We are lucky to have her in our life ......